In the same way that positive words impact our kids, negative words do too.
In fact, as RR Mama
shared in her comment here a couple weeks ago, the impact can even be more significant…
“I read somewhere that for every one negative thing our kids hear, it takes five positive things to wipe it away. Makes me think before I say something.”
We’ve all had those moments where we’ve lost our patience and said something to our kids that we’ve later regretted. No mom is perfect. But some words can scar the very hearts of our children…
Five things our kids shouldn’t hear us say:
1. “Shame on you.”
2. “I’m disappointed in you.”
3. “What’s your problem?”
4. “How could you do something like that?”
5. “Your sister (or brother) doesn’t act like that; why do you?”
Tips for when you are frustrated or angry:
-Don’t shame your kids. Shaming them tells them there’s something wrong with them, not with their behavior.
-Instead of yelling, try lowering your voice. It often has a more powerful effect. Make eye contact with your kids and speak slowly and clearly. This not only allows you to make sure they’re listening, it sets an example for self control.
-Make sure your kids know your expectations. Talk to them ahead of time about listening to you the first time. (If they know you’re going to give them several chances before they get a consequence or before you get angry, chances are, they’ll take their time.)
-Don’t ask your kids to do something (or yell at them when they don’t). Tell them instead… “I need you to clear your plate,” instead of, “Can you please clear your plate?” You’ll be surprised at the way they respond. (I got this from a Nurtured Heart training class and it really works.)
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