Some days, parenting is… hard

By Genny

That was my exhausted thought as I drove my daughter home from swim team one night last week.

The whole day had been a battle.

I can’t even remember as I write this what the issues were, but it just seemed like everything was a challenge that day.

Maybe it was because we had a busy schedule and I was being impatient.

Or maybe it was because she’s almost eleven and she’s becoming more independent.

Whatever the reason, I was frustrated.

She was mad.

And it was one of those days.

So there we were, driving along, on the heels of an argument, and I was done.

I sighed.

She sighed.

I could almost hear her arms crossing in the back seat.

We were both quiet.

And in that silence, as we drove down the freeway, the sun setting in the distance, a thought came to me.

“You know what?” I said.

“What?” she answered, sulking.

“I just realized, even when we have our differences, you and I are still more the same than we are different.”

She didn’t say anything.

“And I think the fact that we disagree sometimes might be good.”

“Why?” Her voice softened.

(Was that the sound of her arms uncrossing?)

“Because I see your determination. You’ve got a strong will, and you can do a lot of great things with that in life.”

“Hmm,” was all she said.

We drove along, maybe another five minutes or so, and then…

“Mommy?”

“What?”

“I love you.”

It took me by surprise.

I smiled in the darkness.

“I love you too.”

“Thank you for taking me to swim tonight.”

I got a lump in my throat.

“You’re welcome.”

And that one moment–that glimmer of sweetness in between the day’s bickering–reminded me that even though some days, parenting is hard,

in the end,

it’s still good.

34 Comments on Some days, parenting is… hard

  1. Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates
    February 15, 2010 at 6:49 am (5 years ago)

    It's so true! I loved hearing that story – brought a tear to my eye. Hope you had a great weekend! Have a lovely day!

    Reply
  2. Buckeroomama
    February 15, 2010 at 11:31 am (5 years ago)

    I loved this post. :)

    Reply
  3. Adoption Mama
    February 15, 2010 at 1:30 pm (5 years ago)

    Being transparent is the best thing we can be for our children.Thanks for the encouragement.

    Reply
    • Butterfly
      August 21, 2014 at 10:50 am (1 month ago)

      It’s about time soenmoe wrote about this.

      Reply
  4. Amanda
    February 15, 2010 at 2:55 pm (5 years ago)

    *officially tearing up*Great post Genny.Be blessed-Amanda

    Reply
  5. MoziEsmé
    February 15, 2010 at 3:01 pm (5 years ago)

    Sweet… Sometimes taking a step back from the situation makes it seem amazing instead of hard.

    Reply
  6. Gina Conroy
    February 15, 2010 at 3:39 pm (5 years ago)

    Great moments! So cherish them. I have a 15 year old who's just like me. Those moments are rare. Nuff said. ;)

    Reply
  7. RR Mama
    February 15, 2010 at 4:56 pm (5 years ago)

    I just posted about how being a parent sometimes really stinks! Glad you saw the good things at the end. And always remember, you might not always agree with them but you love them!

    Reply
  8. Genny
    February 15, 2010 at 6:00 pm (5 years ago)

    So true about being transparent, taking a step back, and loving them no matter what. :)

    Reply
  9. care-in
    February 15, 2010 at 8:37 pm (5 years ago)

    Oh how I needed that! We have had some rough days lately and I needed some hope! Thank you!

    Reply
  10. Kim... and Her Coffee
    February 15, 2010 at 8:46 pm (5 years ago)

    What a great story…. I love when we can deflect an ugly situation with some patience and a healthy dose of love. Thanks for hosting this….. what a great way to encourage other Moms!

    Reply
  11. Ana
    February 16, 2010 at 12:44 am (5 years ago)

    It's those moments that literally save us from insanity. Have a good one Genny!Ana

    Reply
  12. Petula
    February 16, 2010 at 2:22 am (5 years ago)

    That was a very sweet moment. Parenting is hard for me everyday. Well, parenting my teenager has become easy. It's the younger ones I'm worried about… I'm not being that great of a parent. The stress of my life has oozed into every part of me. I'm slowly sinking and wish I had the energy to keep fighting. To shield them from me. I hope I can one day have a relationship with them like I have with my oldest.

    Reply
  13. Annie
    February 16, 2010 at 2:28 am (5 years ago)

    Oh Genny, your post brougth my tears. Very sweet.Have a nice week.

    Reply
  14. bluecottonmemory
    February 16, 2010 at 7:00 am (5 years ago)

    What a perfect moment – and how wonderfully wise! I'm going to "steal" your wonderful point to use with my second son. I'm always talking to them about their gifts. Each gift can be used for good or bad. You opened my eyes for how I needed to look at this. Thank you. I'll let you know how it goes – I'm sure we'll disagree about something imminently – LOL

    Reply
  15. Mama Zen
    February 16, 2010 at 6:45 pm (5 years ago)

    This is really wonderful!

    Reply
  16. Ronel Sidney
    February 16, 2010 at 10:07 pm (5 years ago)

    I love moments when I recognize the good character in my 5 yo strong will… thank you for the reminder!!

    Reply
  17. Lexie Loo & Dylan Too
    February 17, 2010 at 2:45 am (5 years ago)

    That was the sweetest story! Thanks for putting a smile on my face.

    Reply
  18. Warren Baldwin
    February 17, 2010 at 8:42 pm (5 years ago)

    What a great story. Even in tense moments we can find something to connect on if we look, like you did. Good job.

    Reply
  19. Suzanne
    February 19, 2010 at 4:23 am (5 years ago)

    Hi Genny,I loved this story…and very much needed to read it tonight. We've been having a lot of these days lately and they make me so sad. Maybe I need to look at them in a different way:-) I love your blog and plan on stopping by often.

    Reply
  20. Dena Dyer
    May 11, 2010 at 12:59 pm (4 years ago)

    Great post. Thanks for sharing your heart so openly. Your children are blessed to have you! :)

    Reply
  21. misssrobin
    May 16, 2011 at 7:17 am (3 years ago)

    Those are the moments that make it all worth it.

    Reply
  22. Lotte
    May 16, 2011 at 10:54 am (3 years ago)

    Thanks for that! That choked me up (in a good way!). I hope to have moments like that with my brood when they get a little older.

    Reply
  23. Kmarie
    May 16, 2011 at 2:29 pm (3 years ago)

    Yes, in the end it is always good. Thanks for the touching post.

    Reply
  24. OneMommy
    May 16, 2011 at 6:39 pm (3 years ago)

    This post brought tears to my eyes. My daughter is 3 1/2 and we already have so many days where it is a battle of wills – probably b/c we are so much alike. I need to remember that, and hug her more. And yes, it is all worth it in the end! Happy SITS day!

    Reply
  25. Morgan
    May 16, 2011 at 7:54 pm (3 years ago)

    Tearing up … only because it's so true! Sometimes the toughest parenting moments end up the most rewarding.Enjoy your SITS day :)

    Reply
  26. Simoney
    May 16, 2011 at 10:52 pm (3 years ago)

    Wow, what a great moment :)Very excited to have found you via SITS (and hoping you're enjoying your SITS day and getting loads of lovely comments – sorry if I'm a bit slow off the mark; I'm in new Zealand and our time zones are Waaaay different)Reading your profile over on SITS was so encouraging to me; what you are doing is my dream. I have discovered my love of writing through blogging (coming to it in a round-about way)… and now have a regular feature article in each ossue of NZ's top parenting magazine (printed).I would so love to expand this and be able to contribute to other parenting mags/sites.So THANKYOU for sharing your ideas :)

    Reply
  27. The Lucky Wife @ The Saturday Evening Pot
    May 17, 2011 at 4:03 am (3 years ago)

    YES! So, so true. A bad day at home with my children (or parenting them, period!) is better any day than a good day at a job (or in the office)!Hope you've had a wonderful SITS day.

    Reply
  28. Kristi
    May 17, 2011 at 9:02 pm (3 years ago)

    Did I see this one on Mamapedia too? I can totally see my 3-year-old as a preteen and having this scenario.

    Reply

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