Five simple ways to give your kids an example of a healthy marriage

My daughter was downloading photos to the computer the other day and this one caught my eye:


“What’s that from?” I asked, recognizing my yellow shirt.

“Oh, that’s when we went on the walk the other day. I took a picture of you and Dad.”

I hadn’t known she’d taken a picture, or that she’d even noticed us.

It was a reminder of how observant and perceptive kids are.

And that they are always watching.

I was glad that we’d been holding hands that moment—walking together and enjoying each other—when she shot the photo,

when she was paying attention.

Anyone who is married knows that it is a journey, with ups and downs and in-betweens.

But is is beautiful

and amazing

when you continue to reach out to each other

and make time together a priority.

So how can you stay close to your husband (and give your kids a good example of a marriage while you’re at it)? Here are five simple things that have worked for us for almost 17 years. They may seem basic, but they can take work and effort. And, always, it’s worth it!

1.  Make time together a priority. Get dressed up and go on special dates. Turn the TV off and sit on the couch together and catch up. Go to lunch. Go for a walk. Let your kids see you doing this.

2. Compliment your spouse. Point out the good. Decide to give at least one compliment to each other every day, in front of the kids. A little praise really does go a long way.

3. Appreciate the little things. Sure, roses would be nice every month, but truly, it’s the day-to-day stuff that keeps a marriage strong. Go out of your way to help each other with things like dishes, laundry, yard work, and driving the kids around. I love Romans 2:10 and how it says, “Outdo one another in showing honor.” When I look for opportunities to outdo Mike in the little things, I always find that he turns around and does the same thing to me. It has a domino effect (a good one!).

4. Surprise each other. Do fun things for each other and involve your kids. I remember how much the kids loved when I took them to get Mike balloons and a card and then we drove to his work and put it on his car to surprise him for his birthday. The kids were “in on the fun” and it was great to show them one way to make someone feel special.

5. Hold hands. This one’s simple, and fun. And your kids do notice. :)


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  1. Oh I love this post!  My kids have seen us at our best and our worst (probably more so the later lately).  Thank you for the reminder to hold hands!

  2. Rrmama

    Hubs and I try very hard to have date night at least once a month, even if it’s just to go get a shake at Sonic.

  3. I love this. My husband & I both come from broken homes & didn’t see good examples of parents sticking it out growing up. Really great points in this article & the pic is so cute:)

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