Hi everyone,
Just a note that I will be away from here for a few days over the Easter weekend. I am hosting my family and Mike’s family over the weekend, and am really looking forward to it!
Mom-Monday will resume on April 8th.
Have a beautiful Easter!
p.s. For Good Friday: A video worth watching.
Dear Son,
The way you came up to me with $25.00 of your Christmas money in your hand, ready to give away… I wish you knew how proud I was of you.
There you were, sick and feverish, spending the day home from school. But when you saw that commercial about St. Jude Children’s Hospital on TV, you got off the couch, went upstairs, and counted out your money, all on your own.
“I want to give this to save a life,” you said, handing me the money.
You coughed, then showed me a yellow post-it note with a phone number scribbled on it in your eight-year-old handwriting. “This is where to call. Can we do it?”
It’s hard for a mom not to get choked up at something like that.
“Do you want to wait until you’re feeling better?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“No,” you said. “I want to save a life right now.”
What a privilege it was to sit there with you–the phone on speaker–and help you donate your money.
What a gift it was to watch you care about others like that.
And it was humbling too.
Because even though your dad and I have tried to teach you generosity, I knew with certainty in that moment that your giving wasn’t a result of our parenting.
It’s the person you are.
And you know what, Son?
I bet you did help save a life.
I bet you really did.
I love you,
Mom
*post previously published
Thanks for stopping by for Mom-Monday – a day for mom-stories, tips, articles and inspiration!
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I’m excited to be featured over at MAMAPEDIA VOICES today – a great site for moms!
Stop over there to read my post, “Lessons from a 13-year-old’s bucket list”…
My daughter started the summer by writing a bucket list of all the things she wants to do.
I don’t know where she got the idea, or how she even learned about bucket lists, but she spent over two hours writing it and coloring it, then proudly taped it on her wall.
As the weeks have passed, she’s been checking things off.
Things like “Use a fake name at Starbucks.” (When she ordered a drink and told the girl who was taking her order that her name was Hermioni from Harry Potter, the girl cracked up and sweetly wrote the name on the cup. When the drink was ready and they called out, “Hermioni,” everyone behind the counter laughed.)
And other things like: “Have a whipped cream fight,” (which she and her friends did on the last day of school), ”Stay up all night,” (which she and her best friend did a few weeks ago, unfortunately keeping me up all night too!), and “Have a Disney movie marathon” (which–can I just say–I was so happy about. It was fun to watch Nemo and Cinderella and Aladdin again. With an 11 and 13 year old in the house, we don’t get to do that anymore!)
It’s been great seeing my daughter create memories.
And her list has inspired me too… READ MORE over at Mamapedia today! Looking forward to seeing you there!
*post originally published 2008
Last Saturday, when my daughter and I were out running errands, she climbed into the front of the car and with a huge smile on her face, stood up through the sunroof. “I’ve always wanted to do this!” she shouted, reaching her hands to the sky.
Even though we weren’t moving (we were parked in front of a store), she was having a blast.
“This is so fun!” she laughed.
And that’s how our whole morning went.
She and I had started out earlier to run errands…
I had my list of things to do and was looking forward to being productive.
But a few minutes after leaving the house, as we neared the Starbucks around the corner, a thought came to me… Three times last week, my daughter asked me if we could get a hot chocolate together.
Three times I said no.
It was, “We have to get to basketball,” and “We have to get to swim team,” and “We can’t, or we’ll be late for cheer.”
As I thought about that, I wanted to make this day different. Our schedule was wide open, and I wanted to make the most of it.
I smiled and looked in the rear-view mirror. “Want to go to Starbucks? Just us girls?”
Her eyes got wide. “Sure!”
We sat at a table outside.
As we ate, we sprinkled crumbs on the ground and watched the birds.
We talked…
About how she felt about going into fourth grade.
And what her favorite thing about the summer was.
We saw a dog that reminded her of our dog Lady (who died a couple months ago), and we talked about God and Heaven.
We must’ve sat there for an hour, but I’m not sure.
I never checked the time.
After Starbucks, we headed to Linens-N-Things, where, halfway through the store, my daughter discovered the massage chairs.
“Mommy! We have to try these!”
She plopped into one of the chairs and pushed the Demo button. She laughed as the mechanical rollers went up and down her back.
Normally, I’d watch her for a few minutes and then hurry her along.
But instead, I plopped into the chair next to her and smiled. “All right. How do you turn this thing on?”
We sat there for a long time, laughing and “oohing” and “ahhhing” through our massages.
We even got a few stares from people walking by.
Which made us laugh harder.
The next stop—a gift store—was just as fun. We held hands and browsed the aisles, taking our time.
And in our browsing, we found something that we never would’ve spotted had we been doing errands my way, at full speed. On a bottom shelf, tucked in the corner, was a box of large magnifying glasses–the exact size magnifying glass my son has been wanting for weeks.
It’s wonderful the things you discover when you’re not in a hurry.
And it’s amazing the quality time that can be created, simply by ignoring the clock.
When you think about it, my daughter and I didn’t do anything “special” on Saturday.
But, really, we did.
In the midst of ordinary things, we had an extraordinary time together.
And I was reminded that I don’t have to make grand plans to create special memories with my kids.
I just need to focus on them.
And slow down.
And ignore the clock.
“We should make this a tradition,” my daughter said after we finished our errands and headed home that day.
“We should,” I agreed.
And spending time like that may just end up being our best tradition ever.
Today for Mom-Monday, I wanted to share a great article by my friend Elizabeth Pantley, author of the No-Cry series of parenting books. For those of you who have kids who have experienced separation anxiety (and we all have at one point, right?), I know this article will be a big help!
Do you find it impossible to take a shower, work at your desk or even use the bathroom without your little one tagging along, or crying if you leave the room without him? This aspect of separation anxiety is very common. The good news is that all children eventually outgrow this phase, but you can move things along by using some of the following ideas.
Play the door game
You can practice safe separation by playing a game. Start by making animal noises. Have your child guess the animal, if pre-verbal encourage him to echo you. Once he has the gist of the game, sit him on the floor near a door and hide behind it. Play the game and pop out with each sound. Then play again with the door closed. Once this becomes familiar can make a few noises if you’re in another room. Not only will he have fun, it will show him that you can be in the room with the door closed and everything is just fine.
Have practice sessions
Rather than wait until you must be separated from your child, set up short practice sessions throughout the day. Allow another person to engage your baby in playtime. Then slowly back up and sit a few feet away – smiling but unengaged. After a few minutes get up and leave the room for a minute or two, coming back before your child gets upset, and making a happy entrance, “Looks like you two are having fun!” Slowly build up the time to five minutes, fifteen minutes and so on. A few practice sessions each day will help your child deal with longer necessary separations.
Get your child occupied in play
Before you leave the room get your child involved in an activity, then have another adult take over while you step back. A great activity is looking out the window at the trees, neighborhood or wildlife, as your child’s focus will be outside and away from you. Once they are engaged, you can make your exit and allow the two of them to continue playing.
Allow your baby independent time
Throughout the day encourage your baby’s independent play. Often babies are so endearing to us that we don’t realize that there are times we can and should encourage a bit of independence – it’s good for your baby to learn that she can entertain herself. Begin to notice when your little one is happily occupied with a toy without your direct involvement. When you see this, step away from her. These solo-play sessions will pay off when you take that one step further and she can’t see you in another room.
Create a special box of toys
Decorate a cardboard box, or purchase a small colorful box with a lid. Fill it with an assortment of new and interesting toys. Pull out this surprise box of toys only when you need to separate at these times, such as when you are working in your home office or showering. When you are done close up the box and put it away for next time. Rotate the items in the box so that it always contains something new and interesting. Make it an exciting part of your routine and soon your child will be looking forward to it.
Allow others to have more time with your child
Very often a child becomes particularly needy with one parent above all other human beings. This is often because that is the person who tends to his basic needs nearly all of the time. If this is the case, that one person becomes a security object, so it’s unfair to be the daily constant in his life and then ask him to separate from you happily when you need him to. If you find that nearly all of your child’s waking hours are spent with you, try to find ways to have your spouse, partner, babysitter or grandparent spend more time alone with your child. Experience will build security and your child will come to know that other people are also capable of meeting his emotional and physical needs.
–Excerpted from The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution by Elizabeth Pantley (McGraw-Hill). For more information and excerpts: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/
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Thanks for stopping by for Mom-Monday – a day for mom-stories, tips, articles and inspiration!
To join in, all you have to do is add your URL to the link list below and put my button anywhere on your site. It’s as simple as that; no post necessary. Just an easy way for moms to connect with other moms!
I was walking into the locker room at the gym the other day when a woman passed me and said, out of the blue,
“You’re pretty.”
I did sort of a double take, thinking she was talking to someone behind me, but there was nobody there.
By the time I realized she had been talking to me, she’d turned the corner,
and disappeared.
I stood there, smiling.
There I was, in all my post-workout glory–sweaty, messy pony tail,
less than pretty–
and yet,
that’s exactly what she said I was.
It stayed with me for a while, those sweet words from a stranger.
It reminded me of the time I complimented a girl I didn’t know, even though I felt shy about it at first,
and it reminded me of the power in reaching out.
So,
if nobody has told you that you are pretty today,
You are.
(And it doesn’t even have anything to do with what you look like.)
Your heart, your character, your dreams, your gifts…
all unique,
all you,
p.s. If you haven’t told someone that they are pretty lately–your mom, sister, friend… or the stranger at the gym–go do it today,
and watch them smile.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -Psalm 139:14
I’ve been really touched by the stories of a couple single moms in my life lately and I felt the need to run this post again (originally published in 2010). If you’re a single mom, I hope today brings you a lighter load, a peaceful moment, help from a friend, a kind word from a stranger, and some time just for you.
For you, the single mom…
Mike just got back from a two week business trip overseas. He started in Japan, went to Hong Kong, Shenzhen, China, and finished up in Singapore. It was a long two weeks, and it’s good to have him home.
Even though I’m pretty independent and the kids and I stayed busy while he was gone, we really missed him.
And the time alone reminded me just how much single moms do.
There were days I had to get the kids to the orthodontist, then swim team, then guitar lessons, then youth group, all one after the other, and sometimes overlapping. We ran late a lot, and some days were just plain crazy.
So today, I want to honor my friends who are single moms, and all the other single moms out there… moms who do it on their own not just for two weeks, but all the time. I want to honor all the military moms too. I cried when I dropped Mike off at the airport and that was just a two-week goodbye. When I think about the sacrifice that so many moms and dads in the military make, and the time away from their families, it chokes me up.
So this is for you…
Single Mom
You–the strong woman (even if you don’t always feel like it) that runs her household alone.
You – the mom who wakes up before everyone else so she’ll have enough time to empty the dishwasher, pack lunches, get ready for work, and get the kids to school without being late.
You – the mom who takes the garbage out and cleans the leaves out of the gutter and fixes the sprinklers when they’re not working.
You – the mom who rakes the leaves and gets the oil changed in the car and runs to the grocery store at 9:00 at night so her kids will have milk.
You – the mom who stays up late helping with math problems and vocabulary words, even though she’s exhausted.
You – the mom who cooks dinner and pulls everyone together for a meal, even though she’s the only adult at the table.
You – the mom who signs the school forms that come home in the backpack,
and who remembers when school pictures are due,
and who walks her kids door-to-door selling fundraising candy around the neighborhood for their sports teams.
You – the mom who goes to bed alone,
and who might get a little scared in a rainstorm,
but who never lets the kids see her fear.
You – the mom who carries the weight
and the responsibility
and the joy
of being a parent
with pride and determination
and perseverance.
You – the mom who is showing her kids how to be strong,
simply by being there for them,
simply by loving them,
simply by being a mom they know they can always count on.
You – the one who is making a difference
day by day,
hour by hour,
moment by moment,
second by second.
You.
The single mom.
The good mom.
Are you a single mom or a military mom? Has your husband travelled and the time away has given you a new perspective on parenting alone? Leave a comment and share.
If you know a single mom, please send this to her and encourage her that she’s not alone and that she is making a difference!
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Thanks for stopping by for Mom-Monday – a day for mom-stories, tips, articles and inspiration. To join in, all you have to do is add your URL to the link list below and put my button anywhere on your site. It’s as simple as that; no post necessary. Just an easy way for moms to connect with other moms!
Sometimes as moms, it can be hard to give a gentle answer, especially when we’re in the middle of challenging situations or arguments with our kids. It can be hard to stay positive and calm. And it can be hard to find “gentle” words that encourage and build up, rather than tear down.
And while there are definite times we need to be firm and resolute, there are also times when our kids’ acting out might really be a cry for attention,
a need to know they are cared about,
a deliberate test to see if they are still loved,
even when they act unlovable.
Especially during those times, a gentle answer might be just what is needed to turn things around…
READ THIS FULL POST over at The Mom Initiative today (an amazing site for moms that I’m so happy to be part of)!
There’s a sweet older couple I used to see walking near our neighborhood.
Sometimes I’d see them in the morning,
sometimes in the afternoon.
They walked slow,
and close together.
They looked happy and in love.
Every time I’d see them, I couldn’t help smiling.
One time, as I watched the man gently hold onto the woman’s arm and help her up the curb, I got tears in my eyes.
They seemed so tender with each other.
I’d drive past them and wonder about their lives–about how long they’d been together and if they had kids or not.
I haven’t seen them in a while, though.
And while I’ll probably never know the details of their life or where they are now, there’s one thing I do know…
This couple loved each other.
I could see it in the way they walked together.
And I want my love for Mike to show like that.
I want my just being with him to say how much he means to me.
Sometimes, in the hectic pace of life, it’s the little things–holding hands, writing notes, sitting on the couch together and talking–that are the hardest to remember.
But it’s also the little things–a smile, a kiss, a post-it that says I love you–that can have the biggest impact.
And when I think about that couple I used to see, I’m reminded of a love that focuses on these things.
A love that’s considerate and kind.
A love that holds hands and helps.
A love that takes time for walks.
A love that shows.
Just by being together.
*post originally publshed 2008
I’m so excited to introduce you to my friend, Gina Conroy, and to share her writing with you today! Gina is not only a really nice gal, she’s a mom of four and a talented author (find out more about her latest book in the details after her post)! If you’ve been reading here for a while, you know the topic of pursuing dreams is close to my heart; I think Gina’s post is a great reminder to keep things in perspective along the way! Enjoy!
I have a lot of goals and dreams in life, so naturally when my first son was born, I had hopes that he too would have dreams of his own, and as a mom it was my job to find out what he was good at and push him toward that gifting.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my personal goals, my children’s dreams, and what I want my family to look like. Unfortunately, all three are often in conflict with one another at different times.
I knew from a young age that I wanted to write, and I’ve never doubted the calling, though I’ve struggled often with finding the time to pursue my dreams. I started my first novel right after I got married, then I had my first son and writing took a back seat to the demands of mothering.
I didn’t know there were writing support groups like ACFW, and I didn’t have writing friends to encourage me. I didn’t know I could write and raise children like so many do now, though in a way I’m glad I didn’t know. It allowed me to focus on my children and hold on to my dreams, knowing that one day my chance would come. So I set aside my WIP for ten years or so, had three more babies and did occasional magazine work. But my heart wanted to return to fiction.
I thought when my fourth child was two that it was finally time to start working on my own dreams of being published. Little did I know was that at the very same time God was calling me to home school.
What ensued there after was this stressed out mom trying to learn how to home school, be a good mother and write. Unfortunately, I felt like a failure on all three fronts at one time or another, somehow getting off balance at different times until my priorities became so out of whack that I had to sacrifice my writing and dreams for a season. The grieving process was real and painful. But in that grief Writer…Interrupted was birthed, and I started to interview other moms who seemed to do it all.
I grew as a mom and writer.
The other day I read something from Mary M. Byers that resonated with me.
“When you say yes to something in your life, you automatically say no to something else.”
I wish I would’ve understood that sooner. Then maybe I wouldn’t have been so anxious to move on to the next stage of my life and career. Maybe I would’ve savored each moment just a little longer.
Now that my kids are older and have dreams of their own, I’m trying to balance theirs with mine. It’s a never ending learning curve as I adjust and evaluate just how much dream pursuit this family can handle. How much I can handle and do before I burn out.
Will there be some regrets and what ifs? Probably, but if I remember that when I’m saying NO to the pursuit of someone’s dream (including my own,) I just might be saying YES to something more important!
What are you saying YES to today? And what are you willing to wait for? Leave a comment and share!
Gina Conroy is president and founder of Writer…Interrupted where she mentors busy writers. Knowing how difficult it is to raise a family as well as a career, she chronicles her triumphs and trials on Defying Gravity, hoping to encourage those on a similar path. She is represented by Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary, and her first novella, Buried Deception, in the Cherry Blossom Capers Collection, releases from Barbour Publishing in January 2012. Gina loves to connect with readers on Facebook and Twitter
Buy Buried Deception in the Cherry Blossom Capers Collection
Mount Vernon archaeology intern and widow Samantha Steele wants to provide for her children without assistance from anyone. Security guard and ex-cop Nick Porter is haunted by his past and keeps his heart guarded. But when they discover an artifact at Mount Vernon is a fake, Nick and Samantha need to work together, set aside their stubbornness, and rely on each other or the results could be deadly. Will Samantha relinquish her control to a man she hardly knows? Can Nick learn to trust again? And will they both allow God to excavate their hearts so they can find new love?
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Thanks for stopping by for Mom-Monday – a day for mom-stories, tips, articles and inspiration. To join in, all you have to do is add your URL to the link list below and put my button anywhere on your site. It’s as simple as that; no post necessary. Just an easy way for moms to connect with other moms!
© 2008-2013 MyCup2Yours
Expectant!
I’m so excited to share that my friend and fellow MomInitiative writer, Julie Sanders, has a new book out: EXPECTANT: 40 Devotions for New and Expectant Moms!
Today, for Mom-Mond…
The story about the two friends on the train to San FranciscoThis weekend, as I listened to some of the amazing women of (in)courage share their hearts, their stories, their struggles, and their successes at inRL, I was reminded of the importance of friendship….
Today I will slow down and enjoy the journey…Because I’m a destination type of person (and because I always need the reminder to slow down and enjoy the journey)…
Won’t you stop by Holley’s place, join us, and link up today? We’re shari…
And I realized all over again how fast time flies…Welcome to Mom-Monday. I’m glad you’re here! I’m away speaking at a MOPS meeting today, so I thought I’d put up a post from when I used to be involved in MOPS as a mentor, back when my kids were 8 an…
A mom, her daughter, and the story about what happened in the bridal shop in Las Vegas…Today, for Mom-Monday I’m putting up this amazing story again. I saw Carole a few weeks ago from a distance at church, and it reminded me of when she told me this story about her daughter, and we bo…
How my book came to be a SnippetWhen I first started my parenting blog several years ago, I had no idea what I was doing, other than I knew I wanted to share some of my writing and parenting articles with moms.
I was instantly st…
Dear Chihuahua of Fear…When I read Holley’s prompt for this week’s God-sized dream post (to write a letter starting with “Dear Chihuahua of Fear”), I was excited.
Because the longer I’m on this journey of following God-s…
In other words: Just sit tight, hold on, and enjoy the ride!Today for Mom-Monday, I’m sharing an excerpt from Finding Mommy Bliss, along with a couple of notes I’ve gotten from moms who are reading the book…
From Chapter 4 of Finding Mommy Bliss:…
