“Uncompartmentalizing” Me (A New Year’s Resolution)

By Genny

About a year ago, I got an email invitation to join a group of writers and artists that meet in San Francisco once a week.

In the email, the woman who sent it to me wrote:

“I enjoyed looking through your website and blog, as well as some of your articles. Very interesting background and set of areas you work in – you keep yourself busy!”

Her invitation was sweet and I was honored to be included,  but for some reason her comment really struck me…

Because I was busy.

Stressed-out busy, actually.

I had said yes to too many things and I was feeling it.

It wasn’t until weeks later, after reading Marcus Buckingham’s book Find Your Strongest Life (I’d heard him speak at a Women of Faith conference and then bought his book), that I realized why I was feeling pulled in so many directions.

“You don’t have five different selves that you can keep separate. You have one life. One mind. One heart. One cup, if you will. Your challenge is not to separate one cup from another, erect boundaries between each, and then somehow balance them all. Your challenge is to move your life, tilt your life, intentionally imbalance your life toward those few specific moments that will fill your one cup.” -Marcus Buckingham

When I read that, I thought about the different roles I had… wife, mom, children’s book author, parenting blogger/writer, volunteer at Courage to Be You, leader of a hospitality team at church, Book Reviewer, Assistant Regional Advisor for SCBWI, working part-time at a publishing company… and that wasn’t even all.

I was definitely wearing a lot of hats and, like Marcus said, many of them were kept on separate shelves from each other as I tried to balance everything. And even though I was passionate about many of the things I was doing, there were just too many things.  I had gotten into a pattern of saying yes to pretty much every need that crossed my path.

After realizing this, and after spending time exploring my strengths, I wanted more than anything to take the walls down in my life, eliminate the compartments, and focus on the moments that would fill my one cup.

Gradually, I started to make some changes. And I realized…

Rather than trying to fill every need that comes my way, I could think about whether I was the right person to fill it, whether it fit my strengths or not… or if it would only drain me or take me away from my family.

Rather than volunteering at four different places, I could dedicate my time to one cause that I was most passionate about… and make more of an impact.

And rather than trying to keep my writing projects separate and maintaining two different websites, I could combine my sites into one and pull the different aspects of my writing life together. (Which is why I’ve brought my blog MyCup2Yours over here.)

As I’ve focused this past year more on the areas I feel called toward and applying my strengths in those areas, life has changed.

I’m still busy, but it’s an I-can’t-wait-to-get-up-the-next-day-and-do-it-again kind of busy.  And I still wear a lot of hats (although not half as many), but somehow things feel simpler and more focused. It’s been amazing to see everything in my life converge and to realize that all the experiences I’ve had—the good and the bad—have worked together to prepare me for this very time.

I look forward to sharing more detail about all that’s been going on—with parenting, with writing and speaking, and with Courage to Be You and the impact this amazing organization has had on my life, in so many ways. While I’ve been posting on my blog and continuing with writing projects, I’ve been journaling like crazy behind the scenes as I’ve been processing it all, and I’m looking forward to sharing more in the future.

So here’s to New Year of “uncompartmentalizing” our lives – of breaking down walls and removing the separate shelves.

Here’s to spending time exploring what we’re strong at and celebrating those strengths, instead of trying to improve or cover up our weaknesses, or be everything to everybody.

Here’s to intentionally unbalancing our lives so that they are tilted toward those moments that fill our one cup.

And here’s to using our strengths and gifts to help others, because when we do that, we end up finding God’s purpose for our lives and a sense of joy and fulfillment that can’t be found anywhere else.

Have a Happy New Year, everyone. Good things to come in 2012!

11 Comments on “Uncompartmentalizing” Me (A New Year’s Resolution)

  1. Barbie
    December 30, 2011 at 4:52 pm (3 years ago)

    Such a great post Genny. I think I compartmentalize my life way more than I should. I am known as “wife, mom, employee, blogger, housekeeper, friend”. But who am I really? What is the purpose that God has for me this year. Pressing in to hear His voice and allow Him to help me in this area. Happy New Year!

    Reply
    • Genny
      December 31, 2011 at 5:38 am (3 years ago)

      Happy New Year to you too, Barbie! I’m with you! I never realized I compartmentalized so much, but after I started clearing my plate a little, everything converged together… so beautifully. Thank you, as always, for your sweet comments. I so appreciate you! :)

      Reply
  2. Michelle
    December 31, 2011 at 12:03 am (3 years ago)

    I am there now as well, Genny. I’ve spent a lot of time praying and thinking through my own strengths and the desires that God has placed upon my heart, versus my own desires. This takes time and discernment, and did I mention….a lot of prayer?!:)

    I pray this year will be a year of focus, clarity and purpose for us both!

    Have a blessed New Year!

    Reply
    • Genny
      December 31, 2011 at 5:45 am (3 years ago)

      Michelle,
      I love how you point out, among other things, that the process takes time. I”ve learned that these kinds of life-lessons do take time… and it is all sooo worth it! Thanks for sharing your own experience. :)

      Reply
  3. Aimee @ Chickenville
    December 31, 2011 at 1:57 am (3 years ago)

    I too suffer from this and then wonder why my friends in each area don’t know each other or realize I’m spread so thin (such a martyr – I know). Really, I need to say “no” and focus on God’s decisions. I’m just not sure I know how to determine what those are.

    Thank you for sharing your own struggles with this.

    Reply
    • Genny
      December 31, 2011 at 5:55 am (3 years ago)

      Aimee,
      I’ve done that martyr thing before too. :) Check out Marcus’s book… it really helped me to understand more about the gifts I was given and how to focus those gifts on God’s plan for me. I had so many lightbulbs go off as I read it.
      Thanks for commenting!

      Reply
  4. Michelle @ One Crafty Mama
    December 31, 2011 at 11:29 pm (3 years ago)

    Genny — Oh how I can relate. While I don’t have as much on my plate as you do, I had enough to make me step back and say whoa….I need to rethink things here. It is a good feeling.

    Thanks for sharing and Happy New Year to you and your gorgeous family. :)

    Reply
    • Genny
      January 1, 2012 at 11:40 pm (3 years ago)

      Michelle,
      Happy New Year to you too! You are so sweet. I always love hearing from you. Thanks for sharing your heart; it’s nice to know I’m in good company. :)

      Reply
  5. Lee Wind
    January 10, 2012 at 7:29 am (3 years ago)

    Lovely post – I hear you about bringing things together and focusing… An expression I like is “focus is genius” – how much more you can accomplish when your energies aren’t spread thin.
    Namaste,
    Lee

    Reply
    • Genny
      January 11, 2012 at 3:08 pm (3 years ago)

      Thanks, Lee! I like that expression too. I’ll have to remember that!

      Reply

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