I’m gonna miss this
We were on the way to my sister’s house to celebrate an early Christmas.
“Remember your manners,” I told the kids as we drove. “And don’t forget to say thank you for dinner.”
“Don’t worry, Mom,” my daughter said. “You guys have taught us well. We can do it on our own without you reminding us.”
Mike and I looked at each other. “Good,” I said, smiling. I leaned back and basked in the moment.
Could it be, with our kids eight and ten years old now, that we’ve passed that stage of needing to remind them of things all the time?
Could it be, after years of energy and effort and sometimes frustration, that the things we’ve been trying to teach them are really a part of who they are?
Am I at the stage where I start to let go?
It was awesome to consider.
Letting go.
But as I sat there, smiling and thinking about what my daughter said, that song by Trace Adkins, You’re Gonna Miss This, came on the radio.
“You’re gonna miss this…” I listened.
And I knew it was true.
All the younger years of parenting that Mike and I have been through so far–years filled with training, discipline, reminding, endless effort and sometimes little reward–I will miss them. Because they’ve been years of magical milestones and closeness, too.
I look forward to the pre-teen years that are around the corner, and I’m happy and proud of the people my kids are becoming.
But I’m sad, too.
Because as they grow more independent and need less reminders, I’m acutely aware of how fast time is passing.
And even though it’s amazing to see my kids growing, in some crazy way, I know I’m going to miss this…
this age,
this time,
this phase of parenting.
It’s a funny thing, this motherhood…
One minute you wish your kids would hurry up and get older so things will be less crazy, less demanding, less of a balancing act.
But then they do get older and you’re struck by how fast they’ve grown.
And you remember, as you stare out the car window on your way to a Christmas dinner, with a smile on our face and a lump in your throat, the days when they were tiny and just learning to talk.
The days when they were just learning to say thank you.
Oh I so feel this post. I can really relate. I'm parenting teens and young adults. There is so much I love about the stage I'm in but what I'm going to miss most is just having them around all the time.
I am parenting a young adult, a teenage boy, and two younger ones, ages 6 and 9. With my oldest two, I miss them wanting me to be around them constantly, and wanting to love on me with hugs and kisses. Sadly, the younger ones seem to be growing up before my eyes and appear more independent than their young years dictate.
I'm parenting young kids (ages 5 & 6) and I honestly think that some days I can't wait till they are doing more on their own and not as "needy", thinking it might be easier…but my wonderful hubby always reminds me that "this" is the easy time…and all the things that I think are hard now are only preparing us for what is yet to come.
I am totally still in the reminding phase…so much so that I cant even IMAGINE what it will be like to not be here!!!Right now I feel like I will NOT miss this, but of course there is a sense of wisdom to your words and I have a feeling I will be going through what you are!Blessings!
I have been having those moments a lot lately, even though mine are all under 6.5 still. Because I keep thinking how fast the time has already gone & how before I know it they will be all grown. I am proud of who they are becoming, getting to know them at each stage of their lives, I look forward to seeing them grow, but I also miss the moments that have gone by.
Thank you for passing the lump in your throat along to this mom! It has been in the last few years that I have stopped "looking forward to things" because in the process of looking forward, we lose the moment we are in. My son just turned 11 and it's very strange for me to witness his independence at some things, but still needing me for so many other things. My daughter is six. She wants to try doing things by herself so often, like her brother, but most times comes back for much needed help. I often think how much I wish they were really little again…but I like them just as they are now, too. I will like them just as they are tomorrow. I will like them just as they are in a year, or five years, or ten years. Every year…every day, for that matter…will bring something new for them, and for me. But for now, they are who they are today…and they two really unique and amazing little people!
Sometimes I wish "a (little) child's manner" can be carried in my mommy bag. So, when my daughter rans out, I'll just pull one out. LOL! :)I wonder how it feels to have a grown up kid . . . with all those manners and stuff… :)Lovely post, Genny! :)
I have a 17 and 22 year old who live at home (some of the time) and I am still reminding them about things – laundry in the basket, having shorter showers, washing their dishes etc.. I also tell them to drive slowly, be safe, wear sun screen, get a good nights sleep, eat healthy food…. I doubt a mum ever stops!! :) When I ring my mum (who is in her late 70's) she still reminds me to do things!! Being a mum is a life long occupation. As I wrote in my blog – worrying about your children happens all the time – a mum can't help it.And to the lady who wrote about looking forward to her children no longer being as "needy" – wait till they learn to drive and go out to night clubs and you will wish for them to be toddlers again completely under your control (and wings).
My son is 4 and my daughter is over a year and for both, it feels like they were just mere babies yesterday. It's encouraging to know from your post that the hard work we do will sink in and become, as you said, "who they are." I will miss something about each phase, but I'm sure I've have things to look forward to in the next stage as well!And I see you put up your Followers link! All this time and now that you have it, I can't sign into GFC right now! Frustrating, I'll try again later. :)
Love your post! I already miss it and I am right smack dab in the middle of ages 9 and 4! How can you miss something you are doing everyday? But I love it when someone tells me how polite the boys are or how well behaved they are. I have had to teach my self to just say thank you all the while in my head I am asking myself, my boys are you sure you are talking about my boys? Have a Happy New Year!!
I've absolutely loved reading all your comments and hearing the different phases of parenting we're all in. Thanks so much, everyone, for sharing!
I kids in all stages. I guess it happens when you have five kids. LOL! Anyway, my daughter will be in high school next year, and I do feel the pain in letting go. By the way, thanks for visiting my site. Stopping by from MBC.
Oh I can so relate to this post, too. Sadly, often I am wishing for the next phase…and then when it does arrive, I pine for the phase since past. I have 4-year-old and 8-year-old boys. When they were infants, I didn't think I would survive. Now that they are older, I find myself ogling tiny babies and wishing I hadn't let that time go by so unappreciated. I am trying to live more in the moment now, but it's hard sometimes!
That Trace Adkins song always makes me tear up a little…and provides great perspective. Sometimes I find myself longing for the future when all my kids will be potty-trained, talking, and sleeping in their own beds. But then…I realize what a special time this is, how wonderful it is to be needed and what a blessing it is to be able to speak into my children's hearts + minds so profoundly. I am definitely going to miss this season of beautiful chaos…stephanie@metropolitanmama.net
Tear,gulp,That song says it all. I love the age my kids are at right now 5 and 3. I'm so going to miss this. I played the song for my dad he cried time passes to fast….