By making a difference in their lives


 My daughter is sleeping on the couch a few feet away from me. 

She hasn’t been feeling well and we just finished watching Marmaduke together. As soon as the movie ended, her eyes closed.

As I look at her–the peaceful expression on her face, her arms curled around a blanket, the fact that she’s so tall now she almost takes up the whole length of the couch–I smile.

Why did I hesitate when she asked me to sit with her?

Why was my first reaction that I didn’t have time to watch a movie in the middle of the day?

I have to be honest. When I told her yes and we started the movie, my thoughts wandered…

I should be working on my article that’s due Friday.

I should be writing that query for my manuscript.

I should…

Why does it sometimes take these quiet, still moments for me to realize that the best thing I could be doing is just being with my kids?

Part of it is the way I’m wired. It’s not easy for me to sit still and not be productive. I wish I was better at taking time to relax.

But part of it is the dreams…

I’ve got dreams on fire in my heart and I want to do more with them.

I want to reach out to others through my words and books.

I want to make a difference in the world.

Sometimes as a mom, I get impatient, wishing I had more time to focus on those dreams and help them happen.

And then I have a moment like today…

sitting here, looking at my daughter who is quickly approaching the teenage years

and I realize that my dreams are happening, 

right now.

Every life experience is building, one upon the other, to make me the person–the mom and the writer–I am meant to be.

And suddenly I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would not be able to put my whole heart into any dream if I didn’t first feel like I was putting my whole heart into my kids.

And by taking time with them–whether it’s watching a movie in the middle of the day or not–I am making a difference in the world,

by making a difference in their lives. 

Sometimes, I just need to be reminded of that.  :)